Petrified Pup Pulled from Pipe

Friday, June 22, 2001 - USA

Apparently, here's how you do it in seven easy steps, according to the Savannah Police Department's Officers Rebecca Henry and Joshua O'Briant—and don't laugh; it worked:

Step 1: Find a dog somewhere in an ocean, lake, pond or other body of water.  Ok, a storm drain will do.

Photos: Bob Morris / Savannah Morning News

Step 2: Call out to the dog, using every possible dog name you can think of (don't know any?  Try The Dog Net's Dog Name Generator).  Then resort to using humiliating and undignified baby coos.

Step 3: Observe the amused-but-indecisive look on the dog's face.  Next, run to the nearest supermarket and purchase a pack of lunch meat.  If you happened to have brought your fishing gear in the back seat of your police cruiser, go get it.  Otherwise, attempt to fashion a makeshift rod and reel out of some yellow rope, bait it with Carolina Pride^® lean chopped ham and attempt to lure the pooch out.

Step 4: Go back to your police cruiser and fetch your rock-climbing gear and/or SCUBA equipment (don't tell me you forgot those too!).  Ok, then try to scale the structure with your bare hands to get closer to the dog.  Take care not to let your freshly-polished shoes dip into the raw sewage.  Now would be a good time to tell the photographer not to take your picture if you fall in.

Step 5: By this time the Animal Control Officer Michael Hartlaub arrives on the scene with that long, looped pole and a net.  Enlist his assistance immediately.

Step 6: Back on dry land with the pooch, give her a pat on the head and let her have the rest of that Carolina Pride^® lean chopped ham she's been drooling over.

Step 7: Vow never to go on patrol again without your fishing, rock-climbing and diving gear.

The dog is a female Black Lab/Retriever mix with white patches on her neck and paws.  She is approximately 40lbs. and one to two years old.  This event happened last night, June 21, 2001 5:15pm at Graham St. near Bay St.

The dog has suffered a broken pelvis, an injured leg, several lacerations, and is in need of surgery immediately; she may have been hit by a car.  If you know this dog's family, or if you wish to help, please contact Chatham County Animal Control at (912) 652-6575.

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