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“On the whole it’s quite
pretty,
if one looks at it rightly.”
Hans Christian Andersen (1805–1875)
"The Ugly Duckling"
PETALUMA, Calif. (USA) —You
might recall our May feature: "The
Dirty Dozen" which celebrated 12 of the UK's finest
representatives of uglihood in the canine world. Well, we'd hate to
leave you thinking that there's a monopoly of lookers east of the
Atlantic, so we've been hard at work compiling the USA's response to the
Dirty Dozen ...or as we like to call it: "The Maleficent
Seven" (featuring at least one dog who gives Yul Brynner a run
for his money in the hair department).
Note: We've been assured that all of these
pooches do appear in their natural splendor, and not one has been shaved,
electrocuted, smeared with butter or left in the dryer on the
"wrinkle release" setting.
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Hey, I thought those old college pictures of me had been
destroyed!
Oh, sorry... but the resemblance is startling. This is
actually "Sir Boofurd" of Nevada who—believe it or not—did
not win the Las Vegas Review's Ugly Dog Pageant in 1999.
It was probably his awful tuba playing in the talent competition.
(Photo: LVRJ.com)
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"Sadie" actually has brown eyes, although her stare
seems to have damaged the camera in this shot. The 7-year-old
long hair Chihuahua / Toy Poodle combo "was the cutest
puppy..." says her guardian Marsha, "but we didn't quite
know what to expect with her mix. Her personality matches
her distinct
looks—she pretty much dislikes everyone, and every other
dog."
Scoop Senior Editor "Wags" is in love.
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As far as we can tell, "Buddy" is either a Pug
or a bowling pin.
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Reigning Queen of the Ugly, "Nana", (age: 17,
weight: 4½ lbs.) gave up her two-time crown to
a new champion last month in Petaluma (what—did you think those stunning looks
would last forever?). When asked about Nana's
breed, guardian Yvonne Varonis of Santa Rosa, California, says she's a
"Canardly" because "you can'ardly tell her
pedigree." (Photo: Doug Webster / Sonoma-Marin
Fair)
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"Rascal" was the handsome devil
who stole the title of "World's Ugliest Dog" away
from Nana (top of page). This rare Chinese Crested is the
latest to uphold a family tradition of renowned ugliness; his
grandfather "Chi Chi" is in the Guinness Book of World Records for
winning the most World Ugly titles (7 times) his grandmother
"Lady
Pink" also won, as well as his own mommy "Mai Tai" (5 times).
Gosh, can you imagine the pressure of living up to a reputation
like that? It's enough to make your hair fall out (if you
had hair). "It is true that a hairless dog is not for
everybody," says Rascal's guardian Dane Andrew of Sunnyvale,
Ca. "But hey, they don't get fleas or shed."
(Probably the fleas are too scared.)
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You're right, this one doesn't belong.
What Jack Nicholson looks like off-camera is his own business. |
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American Dogs are the
Ugliest